On the other hand theres the continuous double conciousness of all immigrants. I feel guilty for being homesick because I AM home. In another ¨home¨. Its like my colombianness slaps me. Then I think about the fact that I am leaving next week and I get sad. I will miss my family very much. So my American self kicks me instead saying I should be glad to go back home to my life.
Either way I loose. I cannot separate myself I am both. Im as excited to be here as I am to go back home. I am as sad to leave Colombia and as I am to be away from New York. The realization I have come to terms with is that this doubleness will never stop. I will always be home and away from home at the same time. Its called being a immigrant.